Want To Host A Rat 'Party?' Have A Car In the City

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Forget lack of cheap or available parking, the Daily News today has another reason not to keep a car in the city: rats. Yes, according to an opinion piece by ABC News writer and producer Joel Siegel, the city's furry/gross friends . Siegel tells the tale of the multiple rat "parties" -- his mechanic's words -- that took place in the hood of his Volvo. We're just imagining all the city's rats getting together and saying, "look we've gotten recognition for our domination of the subways and parks, how can can we promote our work in other fields?"

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Has the New York Daily News Scared You Into Wearing a Seatbelt In the Backseat Of a Cab Yet?

When was the last time you wore a seatbelt in the backseat of a New York City cab?

That's not a rhetorical question -- we really want to know. If you're like us, you literally have no idea. Also like us, for many New Yorkers, it's very possible that the answer to that question is "never."

We don't not do it because of some macho belief that we're invincible, we don't buckle up for a number of reasons -- namely laziness, preoccupation, and our misguided trust that just because the driver's picture is behind his seat, he knows what the hell he's doing.

Leave it to the New York Daily News to rain on our unbuckled parade -- reporter Heidi Evans used the front page of yesterday's edition to tell taxicab horror stories about face-altering injuries caused by people's failure to buckle up.

Take the case of Jane Lee, for example, who Evans writes "learned her lesson the hard way."

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More Idiots Than Ever Are Being Injured by Walking With Headphones

Not so euphoric, young lady.
The latest in things that your mom and probably Mayor Bloomberg have been telling you are bad for you for ages (though of course you've failed to adhere to their recommendations to stop doing them) is...walking with headphones. Yep, walking around with your own very special theme song piped into your ears to the exclusion of any other sounds is not only the only way we want to live, it also might lead to your demise. According to the journal Injury Prevention, which has a vested interest in such things, "the number of people killed or seriously injured as a result of not being aware of their surroundings due to ear buds or headphones has tripled in the past six years." (Probably, the number of people traveling with personal musical devices plugged into their ears has also tripled, but no matter: Knowledge saves lives!)

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Fake Blind Guy Attempts to Teach New Yorkers a Lesson

Here is a question for pondering this Tuesday: Who's the bigger jerk -- the guy who walks around New York City pretending to be blind as "joke" and, you know, to teach people not to point "directions" to blind people -- or the people who are attempting, perhaps mistakenly, to help the guy they think is blind?

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NYC Weather Remains Weird: How to Make the Most of It

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Good morning! It is Day Two of your unprecedentedly warm, especially weird weather this week. Expect another day in which you can probably walk around sans coat and maybe in just a T-shirt, if you veer toward the hot -- it won't be a record-breaking 70, but it will be in the 60s -- except you should bring an umbrella, as there's a 70 percent chance of rain, and, well, it's actually raining right now. Meanwhile, it snowed in the Deep South. Not to worry, cold is coming our way! But for today, here is your guide for making the best of our particular weird weather, as you see fit.

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The Internet Is Out to Kill Your Future Babies

Back in the old days, your grandpa had to walk 50 miles to his schoolhouse while barefoot in the snow, carrying a bushel of 30-pound books not to mention hot potatoes in his pockets to ward off hypothermia, leading to second-degree burns on his fingertips and wrists. However, he has nothing on you, for you have battled the evils of modern day, proven far greater by science than the average blizzard walk. Basically, the Internet hates and wants to punish you. Thus, there are scourges like...toasted leg syndrome, in which your laptop hopes to wound and mottle your thighs; text neck, which might throw your whole alignment off and lead to years of back pain and an addiction to the chiropractor; carpal tunnel, and don't we know it; not to mention an overall unhealthy relationship to the Internet and a sense of codependency upon your tech devices. But now, the Internet has done it. The Internet wants to kill your sperm, says science.

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Scientists Poo-Poo Your Near-Death Experience

An unfortunate fact of human existence is that we will all, someday, die. But the lucky ones among us will get to have a near-death experience, bounce back, wake up renewed, and tell everyone about how we saw the light or a reaching hand or heard a very important message (like the Lotto numbers, for instance) before waking up to the smiling faces around us. Maybe we'll even sell some books about our true story, once we get out of the hospital, and make some money! Alas, scientists now want to destroy that dream. According to research from Edinburgh and Cambridge Universities, those scenarios that make waking up to friends and family that much more satisfactory "can be explained by the brain trying to make sense of the process of death."

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The Rapture Has Been Rescheduled for Friday

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If you'll recall, back in May, May 21 to be exact, and the days that preceded that fateful day (in which nothing actually happened, but that doesn't mean we didn't worry that it would!), some of us were getting a bit worked up about the so-called Rapture. But, of course, it didn't happen -- you're still here reading the Internet, right? -- and Harold Camping, the guy who'd said it would happen, declared it would, even, was somewhat embarrassed, and hid inside for a weekend, and then put on a polo shirt and walked outside into the still-happening world. But! Relax you not, sinners and non-sinners.

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The British Have Poopy Cell Phones

According to a new study from the University of London's School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine and Queen Mary (yes), one in six mobile phones in a study spanning 400 phones and hands and 12 British cities had fecal matter on it. Possibly worse, one in six hands also had fecal matter on them -- specifically, E. coli, which, in the case of this study, was used as a marker for the presence of fecal matter.

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Greg Washington, Worst Squeegee Man in NYC, Has Been Arrested 186 Times

A weapon in the hands of Washington.
Greg (Grover) Washington, who the Daily News has dubbed "the squeegee king of New York" was arrested for the 186th time on Tuesday, making him not only the squeegee king of New York but possibly the king of New York City arrests. The trouble with Washington is not his squeegee, per se -- it's that he is really bad with rejection. Lt. Patrick Heraghty explained, "He goes up [to cars] and squeegees ... and when he doesn't get paid, he breaks the windshield wiper or assaults the driver."

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