Get Your At-Home Cocaine Test at the Williamsburg Duane Reade

via @J_Brukman
File this under "good to know." Should you be wandering about Williamsburg on your way to your appointment to pee in a cup and get approval for your new job with the CIA, or for your court appointed biweekly drug test, and experiencing qualms that you may not pass it, you can stop by the Duane Reade on Bedford Avenue and N. 3rd Street (the one with the growler bar) and purchase a handy Quickscreen At Home Drug Test, "the most sensitive test on the market today"! It is 99.9 percent accurate! Why would you purchase anything less?

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Facebook 'Business' Cards Are Here

What do you get for the person who has everything, including a Facebook account? A Facebook "business" card, of course! We're not sure if these are more or less insufferable than the Facebook shower curtain (equally so, perhaps, but different?). On one hand, the point of Facebook is, we suppose, to network, so giving someone a card with your contact info on it instead of making them search through the "Jennifer Dolls" to try to find you in the bleary hours of the next day may be an efficiency-positive move. On the other hand, do you really want to proclaim your devotion to Mark Zuckerberg's social networking beast with such American Psycho devotion? What's the thickness of this card stock, anyway? (200,000 users will get them free -- otherwise, they start at $15 for 50.)

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Thief Does Not Want Your Stupid BlackBerry

No one wants.
Obviously, people everywhere are angling to steal your wonderful, beautiful iPhone. Not to mention that shiny iPad you're always waving around! As evidence, the New York Post reports today on a duo that has been taking iPhones at gunpoint on the Upper East Side: They've stolen at least 3 phones in the last few weeks. What could be worse than having your iPhone stolen at gunpoint? Having your subpar and totally lame technological device rejected by a thief. How mortifying.

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Blowfish, a New Over-the-Counter Hangover Cure, Will Soon Be in Your Duane Reade

Have you heard of "Blowfish"? It is not a fish. Nor is it something that you buy on the streets from a shady-looking guy whispering your fake name. It is a tablet that will be available over the counter in New York City drugstores come January. (Apparently it's already in Ricky's -- we're investigating and will report back.) Blowfish combines aspirin, caffeine, and an antacid to fight the symptoms of having imbibed a bit or way too much. According to the hangover gurus at ABC News, "When dropped into a glass of water, it fizzes up a lemony brew that packs the hangover-fighting power of two extra-strength aspirins, three espressos and a greasy breakfast."

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'This Is Neighborhood Rot' Stickers Now Available Online

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In late November, West Side Rag (a nominee for a Village Voice "best neighborhood blog" award!) pointed out that someone had been papering the empty storefronts of the Upper West Side with stickers that read "This Is Neighborhood Rot," "This Is Neighborhood Decay," "This Is a Neighborhood Eyesore," and so on. The identity of the sticker bandit was a mystery, though -- and still is, except now, he or she has a website. And, kind of, a movement. So 2011!

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The East Village Comes in Third for the Most Chain Stores in New York City

Not a chain.
New Yorkers (most of them, it seems) profess a grand dislike of chain stores, especially when they have to wait in line to get their overpriced lattes from Starbucks! The good news for such people is this: According to the Center for an Urban Future's annual survey on chain stores, the recession has slowed the spread of chains. The Wall Street Journal reports that the "overall proliferation of national retailers across the five boroughs slowed to a 1.6% increase in 2011, the smallest since the Center for an Urban Future began its retail survey four years ago. In 2010, by contrast, the city's chain-store population grew by 4%."

The bad news is, where can you get your Bloomin' Onion?

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You Could Own Jack Kevorkian's Old Sweater (and the Suicide Machine, Too)

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Blue sweater for sale separately.
Just in time for Halloween, Dr. Jack Kevorkian's suicide machine, the Thanatron, and 17 paintings (including one done by Kevorkian with a pint of his own blood -- better than someone else's!), are being auctioned off today at the New York Institute of Technology. The value of the paintings is estimated at between $2.5 and $3.5 million. Also for sale is a bulletproof vest and some sweaters. Hutter Auction Galleries "is proud to be producing" the auction. Check out the catalog here! Did you know Jack Kevorkian had a signature hat?

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Will You Shop at the New MTA Boutique at Macy's?

Subway merch is obviously not a new idea -- you've all seen the subway-themed shower curtains, T-shirts, dog gear, magnets, umbrellas, and whatnot. But now there's an entire section of Macy's capitalizing on people's need to buy things that remind them of their dreaded commutes. The MTA has announced their first-ever full-fledged MTA boutique, located in The Cellar of Macy's Herald Square. It's 1,000-square-feet, which makes it...bigger than a subway car. The collection, developed specially for Macy's, is called NYC Underground, and in order to make the shopper's experience as "authentic" as possible, the boutique is decorated with subway maps and benches (and other accoutrement).

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Andrew Cuomo's Walmart Runs Are Annoying the Union

Like anyone who's recently moved, Governor Cuomo has been doing a lot of shopping (for the Executive Mansion, in his case), spending "about $300 in recent months" reports the Daily News. State workers have been sent to Albany-area Walmarts for supplies for Cuomo's official abode. This is to keep spending down, because, as a matter of fact, Walmart does seem to have some fairly good deals. However, union leaders are not happy, given Walmart's apparent, rather notorious, stance against unions. "We think it would be a better use of taxpayers' money to shop at stores that are not causing so much harm to working people," said Stuart Appelbaum, president of the Retail, Wholesale and Department Store Union (and a supporter of Cuomo).

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Baseball that Rolled Through Bill Buckner's Legs in 1986 Fails to Sell on eBay

Have baseball fans suddenly been struck with an epidemic of good sense? Tuesday night the ball that rolled through Bill Buckner's legs 25 years ago in Game 6 of the World Series failed to get a single bid (bidding on eBay closed at 11:37 p.m. EST, the exact anniversary of the error). Of course, the minimum price was a million bucks, so perhaps in a time of recession even rich idiots showed a little restraint.

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