ESPN President Admits They've Been Trolling the World re: Tebow, and that It's Time to Cut that Shit Out

Let's cut that boy some slack. All he's really done so far in his life is play football, win more than he's lost, be really, really open with his relationship with God, say super hokey, humble shit when the cameras are on him, and not have sex ever. The not having sex ever aside, the guy hasn't really done anything. And yet we hate him. We love him. We know his name.

That he's neck-and-neck with LeBron James as the most polarizing person in professional sports is amazing, because compared to James--hell, compared to hundreds of players in the NFL alone--he hasn't really done anything.

It took us awhile, America, but we've identified the problem, we've identified why we love and hate this evangelical, almost-aborted (his words!) backup quarterback from Manila: because we hear about him all the time. And more recently, we've identified why we hear about him all the time: because ESPN is whorish.

There's plenty written about it already, but the gist is that to increase their ratings,ESPN specifically has taken a mediocre talent who hasn't started a game this season for the New York Jets, and is responsible for a whole 126 more of his team's total yardage this year than your mother is, and turned him into a superstar. This is bad, really bad, because ESPN is, or at least plays at being, a journalistic organ solely meant to report the news as opposed to make news themselves for the purpose of financial gain.

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Repent, New York, for Tebow Time is Nigh

Associated Press
...C'mon, son.
So yesterday, the New York Jets played the Arizona Cardinals in what will go down in the annals as maybe actually the single most unwatchable game in the history of sport. They won 7-6, but that wasn't the important part, because they still suck and are only 5-7 on the season, and although their last four games (at Jacksonville, at Tennessee, home to San Diego and at Buffalo) are in theory all winnable, and although they're still not technically eliminated from the playoffs, you're doing white drugs if you think they're going to the playoffs. What was important, however, was that Mark Sanchez threw three picks before half, forcing still-svelte-ish head coach Rex Ryan, down 3-0 midway through the third quarter, to do what pundits and fans alike have been begging Rex Ryan to do since Sanchez was drafted into the league: sit his ass down.

This, of course, was supposed to be the coronation of Tim Tebow, when he checked into the game and led the lowly Jets to a late score, cemented his spot as the starter, willed his team to a late playoff birth and was traded in the offseason because, hey, Sanchez still has $8.5 million guaranteed on his contract next year and it ain't like anyone's about to trade for him. ESPN's Stephen A. Smith would yell and act super duper indignant while everyone else from Skip Bayless to Chris Berman would loudly orgasm through the camera and into our private lives. Also, lots of stuff about Jesus.

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Tim Tebow In New York: Sees Broadway Musical, Gets Carnegie Deli Sandwich Named After Him

Screen shot 2012-03-25 at 10.04.04 AM.png

New York, get ready, Tebow's in town and you're going to hear about every move he makes. First up: Tebow sees a show! Though we're not sure if he needs any lessons on how to be popular, Tim Tebow went to see the Broadway musical Wicked in New York last night, according to the New York Daily News. Donna Vivino, an actress in the production, notified her public via Twitter of the new Jet's presence at the show.

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Tim Tebow: Do The Jets Really Need This Guy?

Tim Tebow might not be the miracle the Jets front office is hoping for.
The deal between the New York Jets and the Denver Broncos for quarterback Tim Tebow is now complete.


Jesus' favorite quarterback will be wearing green next season in exchange for two draft picks -- a fourth-rounder and sixth-rounder in 2012 -- thanks to a deal that nearly fell apart in the late stages yesterday afternoon.

As we noted yesterday, not everyone's thrilled with the trade -- more specifically, Jets cornerback Antonio Cromartie isn't thrilled with the trade (former Jets QB Joe Namath apparently also is on the list of those not fond of the move).

Cromartie took to Twitter yesterday to let the world know that the Jets didn't need Tebow -- he literally said "we don't need Tebow."

As obnoxious as getting hassled by a new colleague can be, Cromartie may have a point -- even if it could have been better made in the confines of the Jets' locker room.

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Tim Tebow To The Jets: ESPN "Insider" Says Deal Could Be In Jeopardy

Categories: Sports, Tim Tebow
Not so fast, Jets fans...
You might want to hold off on ordering your New York Jets Tim Tebow jersey -- ESPN "insider" Adam Schefter's tweetin' up a storm about how the deal could potentially be in jeopardy.

"Denver and Jets have encountered hangup in language in Tim Tebow's contract that could nullify trade," Schefter "tweeted" moments ago, after news of the Tebow trade already had gone viral.

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Antonio Cromartie: We Don't Need No Stinkin' Tebow. Oops

Categories: Sports, Tim Tebow
Tim Tebow's coming to town.
Take a knee, New York -- it's Tebow time!

It's officially Twitter official: Tim Tebow is coming to the Big Apple to hold the clipboard for Mark "The Sanch-ize" Sanchez as the New York Jets' B-squad QB (for now, anyway) -- which apparently is much to the dismay of Jets cornerback Antonio Cromartie.

The Jets posted on the team's Twitter page this afternoon -- and it's been confirmed by ESPN -- that the former Florida phenom is leaving the Denver Broncos and coming to New York in exchange for two draft picks -- a fourth-rounder and sixth-rounder in 2012.

Like the Jets, Cromartie also has been updating his Twitter page -- to blab about how much the Jets don't need Tebow.

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