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"If you have a cell and can txt, you'll never be bored again...EVER!" Keep in mind that this is from 2006.

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​Unless you are a fan of the Twilight saga (and if you're not, what is WRONG with you?), you may not be aware that Breaking Dawn, the finale of the series, in which Bella and Edward actually make a vampire-human baby, will be out in theaters on November 18. This is only part one of the finale, because it was so exciting and sexy that they had to split it in two, much like the vampire and human portions of Baby Cullen-Swan -- otherwise we all would simply expire from the thrill of watching it. Also, we would have to get up at least once to pee because it would be a very long movie, and then we would miss something important, and we hate that. In any case, by serving two separate portions of the film, one now and one later, there is delayed gratification. This is good for everyone, not least, the movie makers, and also is sort of fitting for an entire series about waiting until you are married to have sex with a vampire. (Subtext!)

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​Ever get caught up in an engrossing episode of Law & Order and say to yourself, "Man, I could watch 456 of these things?" On November 8th, you will get the chance when the complete series of Law & Order is released on DVD. The set will consist of 104 discs and the list price is reported to be $700. Can you think of a better way to spend $700 than on a collection of television episodes that are regularly rerun and don't need to be viewed in chronological order?

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​When it comes to inexplicably banning things, China is a true superpower. The Times reports that China's State Administration for Radio, Film & Television has issued a statement saying they have banned dramas from television that depict people going back in time. The release says that these shows "lack positive thoughts and meaning." Clearly they have never seen Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.

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And on the 22nd day, he stole a jambox. Photo by Ben Trivett

​You'd have to be kind of crazy to not want to sleep for 40 days, right? Sleep is one of the goodnesses of life, like butter or bacon or wine (or buttery bacon-wine). But 28-year-old Californian Tyler Shields, who also, for what it's worth, is a celebrity photographer and director, does not need or crave sleep like we do, apparently. At least, not so much that he didn't say no to going without it for 968 hours straight.

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​Sometimes we wake up in the morning and think things. And this is what we've been thinking the past month: Why is it so dark? When is that pesky time change, anyways? And: Aghghhhhghhh.

If you, too, feel like it's taking a really long time for the end of Daylight Savings time to get here this year, you would be correct.

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