​Oh Brazil, we love you so much. First you gave us Brazilians. And then you gave us that Gisele, what a charmer! Say what you will about models, but it was kinda funny when she had that tiff with Bridget Moynahan for saying that she considered Bridget's son her son, which of course pissed Bridget off to no end. And then Tom Brady had to get involved and break it up, which gave us all a dose of much needed schadenfreude, because the three of them are just too beautiful and clearly need to suffer a bit.

Well, now, Brazil, you've done us even better. We knew we could count on you.

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​"Poem in Your Pocket Day" is a time-honored tradition in which New Yorkers are encouraged to carry a poem in their pocket and share it with friends, family, coworkers, and classmates; friends, family, coworkers, and classmates are asked, in return, to refrain from beating them to a pulp.

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​The City Reliquary Museum and Civic Organization in Williamsburg was never a profit machine. Founder Dave Herman told the Voice in 2006 "We're not very good at PR. We all just do what we enjoy doing and hope people will find out."

Just now, Herman says that isn't working out all that well. Due to rent, rising utility costs, and a few grants that failed to materialize, the non-profit storefront museum may be forced to close if they can't raise $20,000 by the end of March. Even with the profits from February's New York City Firefighter Date-Auction, they're not there yet.

"We're struggling to keep this place open," said museum Vice President Bill Scanga. "You know, it's a place that's run on passion and love and we're running out of money and we need to pay our rent."

They're hoping a March 12 Queens Museum Panorama Contest, March 17 St. Patrick's Day Benefit at the Knitting Factory and membership donations will get them the rest of the way.

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You have a few hours left to try and be the new co-Flo in those perky Progressive Insurance TV ads. The car coverage people are hosting open auditions for an assistant to their well-liked spokeswoman, played by Groundlings actress Stephanie Courtney, at Metropolitan Pavilion at 125 West 18th Street until 6 p.m. today. So far they've had many takers -- from perspiring actors to real-people types, some of whom have arrived wearing their own homemade Progressive aprons -- but they tell us they've got room for you if you want to run over and try out for the white-smocked star's helper role in a national campaign. No need to prepare anything: just bring your "camera presence," "originality," and "overall appeal," on which you will be judged (but cheerfully!).

​In case you were wondering what one of those Gossip Girl tours -- which seem to have replaced Sex and the City tours as the baby bridge and tunnel brigade's girls-day-out of choice -- Gadling has the highlights, or at least the lights: they travelled in a bus with TV screens that played scenes from the show, and were hosted by an "adorable redhaired actress named Meghan" who "dressed much like one of the faux Upper East Side denizens." (A second witness says Meghan "made every effort to recant the plotlines while untangling the web of characters and places.") They went to Henri Bendel, the Museum of the City of New York (which plays the Constance Billard School for Girls in the show), Central Park, and Dylan's Candy Bar. Lunch "at a restaurant used in filiming the show"; for dessert, "a shot of agave-based frosting from a trendy bakery on the Lower East Side" (Babycakes?). Butter and Vesleka seem to have been pointed out. It takes three and a half hours and costs $180. Coming soon: the How I Met Your Mother burger tour.

Just because we're all going broke doesn't mean we can't get some laughs out of it. That's the idea behind the Voice's new blog, The Smart Asset, which regards the downfall of our economy as the ultimate banana-peel gag. In recent items Smart Asset considers the superiority of the Madoff non-investment plan those those of traditional brokers; Paul Volcker spanking the young punk quants; possibly America's only boom industry, arms trading, as seen at the IDEX 2009 armaments fair in Abu Dhabi, and so forth. Other financial commentators are only funny in retrospect. Get your economic relief now!

Once and future futurist Faith Popcorn may have a job for you! There's an ad on Craigslist inviting some lucky young knowledge worker to serve the inventor of terms we use to this day, like "Brailling the culture" and "InCulture Marketing," as a factotum (or, if you find the term demeaning, dogsbody).

The ad asks:

"Can you create a CEO Salon at an Upper East Side Townhouse?

"Can you find a Gifted and Talented school for a four year old Chinese girl?

"Can you find a holistic vet, a Japanese Hot Spa in Tokyo, and deliver a cut bamboo arrangement to New Jersey?

"And get a corner table in a hot restaurant.

"No problem? Can you do it all in the same 12 hour day?"

The ad further promises a "glamorous, intense atmosphere at a wild pace." Sounds irresistible, but we would suggest that, before you leap at this opportunity, you read this review from an anonymous source who accused Popcorn in 2007 of endeavoring to "rip employee's heads off and shit down their throats." But for some, that may be part of the wild, intense charm, and besides, as Popcorn predicted all the way back in December, these are tough economic times. Now send in that CV and start lining up holistic vets!

...today Saturday is No Pants Day. Foley Square, 3 p.m. Be there with legs bare.

Update: Put your pants back on! Original date wrong.

Here’s an age-old question: nature vs. nurture? The chicken or the egg? Born gay or made that way? Tonight, a handful of theater artists will explore the very moment the desire to turn vegan—and bump uglies—became too strong to ignore at When I Realized I First Liked Girls, part of the HOT! Festival at Dixon Place. Enjoy song, dance, video, and monologues by talented downtown queers, such as Faye Driscoll, Laryssa Husiak, Joseph Keckler, and Voice staffer Sharyn Jackson. Then, if all the Indigo Girls tunes (inevitable at an event like this) spark a memory of your own, audience members will have the opportunity to share their stories between acts. Thursday 7.17 — At 8, also Saturday, Dixon Place, 258 Bowery, 2nd Floor, 212-219-0736, dixonplace.org, $15

The good news is, after a long bureaucratic delay, the Red Hook Park food vendors should be back at work this weekend. The bad news is, they may have to charge you more.

The Brooklyn Paper reports that, thanks to a City crackdown on their facility requirements -- which, one vendor told the paper, cost her $35,000 to implement -- and the time off, the popular feeders are deep in the red and we don't mean salsa picante.

Some of the vendors picked up a little work meantime at nearby Coffey Park, as Gowanus Lounge reported in June. But they'll still have to move a lot of ceviches and cabbage slaw to make up their shortfalls.

Hopefully the vendors can pick up some extra dough catering MTV's "Real World Brooklyn, the site for which has been moved from Carroll Gardens to Red Hook.