via

​Is your Twitter feed feeling a little extra insufferable today? Do you hear the sort of "I'm at a really cool event and you're not" echo running through the Internet? Are you suddenly craving Tex Mex and you're not sure why? That's because the South by Southwest Conference has begun! And you're not there! (We're certainly not.) So, we've come up with a couple of ways to pretend you're at the annual pilgrimage of media, tech, music and entertainment types to Texas, or at least some ways to mitigate the pain of not being there.

More >>

MTA-style

​One man's abhorred commuting method is another man's most stylish possession, or something like that. So we shouldn't be surprised to learn that the MTA is a huge hit in Japan, particularly among "Japanese hipsters" who "wear subway logos as part of a trend 'somewhat similar to the hip-hop or punk fashion,'" according to Ket Matsuno, who teaches marketing at Babson. The New York Post reports that more than 20 percent of city transit merchandise sold in 2010 was purchased in Japan.

More >>

​Corey Kilgannon is outdoing himself over at the New York Times City Room blog! Yesterday, he wrote of a real-life hobo he discovered roaming about Central Park, a cowboy-faced "ramblin' man" named Larry, lookin' "to hop a train outta here." Today we get the tale of two creative cousins from Washington Heights who, several times a week, "buy a sack of used golf balls at a Midtown golf shop," "grab a fifth of Bacardi rum and some pineapple juice," and "head to the water with a trash-picked pair of junior clubs." Get that: They golf!

More >>

​Trend watch! There's a fun new way to celebrate your body, which, after all, God made, which means that celebrating your body is really celebrating God, and are you a Christian or are you a Christian? Via The Frisky, "Pole Fitness for Jesus" lessons are set to "Christian music" (Stryper?), and women attending such lessons say inspirational things like, "God gives us these bodies and they are supposed to be our temples and we are supposed to take care of them and that's what we are doing," "I feel a spiritual connection," and "Hook low and then you just bring it through." Watch and learn.

More >>

​It's probably not in legal textbooks or on Law and Order (at least, not explicitly) but there is a legal reality called the "nerd defense," which basically means that if you look like a nerd -- i.e., wear glasses at your criminal trial -- the jury will be less likely to think you did the horrible things you probably did. The Daily News reports on the legal phenomenon, explaining that "defense lawyers swear by the gimmick," and the nerdier the glasses, the better.

More >>

via MastiMails

​Feeling a little blue, what with all this chilly weather? Hot off the "people drink tea!" beat, the New York Post has a suggestion for you: How about skiing to work? The paper found a person who has done this. Turns out, not only is skiing to work fun for you, it's good for the morale of the entire office. "When Lucy Painter arrived at work carrying skis last week, her staff at the Weill Cornell Medical Institute cheered. 'They were delighted,' says Painter."

More >>

​"Kids move on to the next fad," Captain Obvious told USA Today, but in the case of Silly Bandz -- the wild rubber bands that make a shape when you take them off, loved by kids and awkward adults alike -- the drop off in their popularity has been precipitous. The toy expert went on to say that because they're now so readily available, no one wants Silly Bandz. At some point, the practically disposable bracelets hit $200 million in sales; those days are over.

More >>

What not to do.

​It was to our amusement and consternation that we learned, via Bowery Boogie, that a man had been seen in quintessential East Village dive Lucy's on Saturday night, windchill factor: brrrr, wearing a pair of cargo shorts. Still, Lucy's is the sort of place where warmth comes from within. But we became ever the more worried whilst perusing Craigslist Missed Connections, as we are wont to do now and again -- for purely journalistic reasons -- today. We found this:

More >>

Consider the shark jumped. The $3 canned beverage, both caffeinated and alcoholic, has already been banned in New York, with distributors halting their local deliveries on Friday, and now we here at Runnin' Scared are moving to ban the drink from the internet. Our teeth are shivering from the sugar and it's starting to stink in here. The joke is over. More >>

Clearly, these are both images of UFOs.

​This news account (complete with the requisite spooky UFO track) about "Mysterious Lights Over East El Paso," attempts to connect weird but probably completely explainable sightings in the El Paso sky to weird but probably completely explainable sightings (or, engagement party balloons) over Chelsea last week in New York.

More >>