"Less Sentimental" New Yorkers Say No Thanks to Valentine's Day. In 1871.

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Image via Vintage Fangirl
NOPE.
New Yorkers are over Valentine's Day. They're over Valentine's parties and "anti-Valentine's" parties and buying crumbly, last-minute, guilt-trip chocolate from Duane Reade on their way home and mostly-frozen flowers from the bodega. They're too sophisticated for that dreck.

Wait, sorry, that was 143 years ago. This year, people are getting married in Times Square with the help of Snuggle the fabric softener bear and atop the Empire State Building with sponsorship from some corporate flower conglomerate. It was your better taste-having great great great grandmother who declared that she was absolutely done with this tacky, saccharine holiday (although she did enjoy sending joke cards "out of spite").

So reported the New York Times in their February 14, 1871 edition, noting that the number of valentine cards sold and sent in the city had experienced "a considerable falling off."

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Happy Valentine's Day! Cutest East Village Couple Give Love Advice: "There Is No Love Today"

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"I love you, God bless you and see you tomorrow," is how Pilar La Rosa bids adieu to her regular patrons at Pilar Jewelry Repair on East 7th Street. Shopping at her quaint boutique is always a joy, though for the most part we stop by for no apparent reason other than to chat with owners Pilar and her husband Walter. You see, it's not everyday you meet a happily (and chill) married couple (in Manhattan) that also happen to work together.

This adorably cute couple hail from Lima, Peru, and have been coworkers for the past 20 years at this East Village storefront, which is an accomplishment in itself. What is even more astonishing is that they've been married for the past five decades! So on today's very special love day, we asked the one couple who spends every waking moment together how relationships can function and survive in today's complex digital love age.

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What Better Time for Free STD Tests Than Valentine's Day?

Categories: Valentine's Day

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But seriously, though.

Yesterday, DNAInfo reported that three hospitals in Brooklyn will open their clinics for completely, one-hundred-percent free STD testing. The hospitals include: East WIlliamsburg's CABS Health Center, Caribbean House Health Center and East New York's Dr. Betty Shabazz Health Center. Manhattan folk, y'all are on your own.

There, anyone can walk in and find out their Hepatitis C and HIV status in no less than 20 minutes. And, by"anyone," we mean those not doing any of the activities listed here for the less romantic types on this special, special day.

The effort was put together by the Community Healthcare Network as a safe and secure test for love. Because nothing says "I love you" on Valentine's Day like a negative STD test screening. Sorry, we had to.

[jsurico15@gmail.com/@JSuricz]

New Yorkers Will Spend More than Half a Billion Dollars on Sucky Valentine's Day

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New Yorkers will spend around $566 million on Valentine's Day -- mainly on predictable, boring gifts such as cards and candy, according to the New York City Economic Development Corporation.

Using data from the National Retail Federation, the NYCEDC says that 60 percent of adults in the Northeast have decided to celebrate love with abject materialism, and plan on spending $146.30 apiece buying crap for their loved ones (who might be cheating on them).

They will spend around $22.71 on confections and $38.65 on bouquets this year -- supporting an industry that's said to employ 3,000 New Yorkers.

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