​To those of our readers who have been trying to figure out where "Mike's Apartment" -- the private ad hoc club in someone's downtown loft that People Are Talking About -- is located, Sound of the City has done some sleuthing and makes what sounds like a reasonable assumption.

Go see. Tell 'em Runnin' Scared sent you.

​We just posted what has to be one of the hottest job openings in the business: a full-time staff writing job, with damn good benefits, for someone who wants to join Roy Edroso and the rest of the staff in continuing the explosive growth here at Runnin' Scared.

We're looking for someone who will turn this place upside down with well-written, skillfully reported, and humorous looks at New York news. In particular, we'd like to see a healthy dollop of stuff about local media.

So if you're a talented scribe with some serious blogging chops who would love to dash off cantankerous takes on the crazy shit happening at the Times, the Journal, NY Mag, the sinking Conde Nast barge, the who-the-hell-knows-what-Jared-is-going-to-do-with-it Observer, and all the angry little digital startups, hit us up with a cover letter, resume, and some clips that will knock us on our asses.

Send it all to: blogger@villagevoice.com

Bernie Madoff announces he won't appeal his 150-year sentence -- which is prudent, we suppose; what's he going to do, get it knocked down to 100? Now it may be time to pay more attention to other figures in the Madoff debacle. At The Smart Asset, our own Ward Harkavy is interested in the fortunes of Lori Richards, head of the Securities and Exchange Commission's examinations division, whose planned departure from the SEC, he notices, will take place just as "the SEC's internal probe of her department's failures in the Bernie Madoff case is released in August." Harkavy also notices Richards' ties to the Madoff family and buyer-beware attitude toward securities fraud.

La Daily Musto breaks the sobering news of Joyce DeWitt's DUI bust -- and invites readers to play the old childhood game, Which Of These Two Would You Sleep With? Current contenders: Whoopi Goldberg or Betty White. Go!

Sound of the City has a peculiar Fiery Furnaces promo video, and deets on the Brooklyn Electronic Music Festival. Fork in the Road continues its popular Top Ten series by soliciting pre-comments for its Ten Best Chinese Restaurants. Hurry while you still have a chance to be Frist! As for All City, we really can't pick a favorite.

At Sound of the City: The CBGB inheritance case has been settled, and Hilly Kristal's son is not too happy about it.

At La Daily Musto: Michael Musto asks, "Who's Your Favorite Late-Night Host?" Jack Parr's getting more votes than we expected.

At Fork in the Road: They're still getting reactions to their 10 Best Burgers in New York. Next week, they promise: pizza!

At All City, a hippie bike.

At The Smart Asset, Ward Harkavy makes the obvious connection we all missed: the California crisis is a reverse Dust Bowl.

See Press Clips every morning for the essential news roundup.

While we cherish the attendance of our dozens of readers as well as the helpful advice of our commenters (e.g., "Get your facts straight," "MORE MSM LIES"), we feel obliged to remind you that ours is not the only blog under the Voice umbrella, and suggest you check out our colleagues, who are at least as adept at wasting your time, and in several different genres:

 

Press Clips. Mr. Ward Harkavy used to get up an hour before he went to bed, smoke a pack of Luckies, read 126 papers (all the way down to the obituaries and shipping news) and analyze the hell out of them. Management figured: why not let Mr. Harkavy get some sleep, and make Press Clips a quick but thorough skim of the morning news? We gave it Flash! Good morning Mr. & Mrs. America and all the ships at sea feel and made the proprietor wear a fedora. Result: Newsy news for the news-needful!

 

The Smart Asset. Mr. Harkavy is still with us, as Voice news editor, gadfly, and proprietor of The Smart Asset, with which he makes business and financial news -- a species of reportage that normally makes us want to vomit from our eyeballs -- crisp, clear and fascinating, as if it had something to do with our actual lives, which of course it really does these days. For an example, see yesterday morning's take on the auto bailout, "GM, Chrysler seek to dump their companies on UAW, taxpayers." Who knows what depredations he's parsed this morning.

 

Sound of the City. Studies show 90 percent of Voice readers are looking for a good film, concert, or erotic massage. So arts reporting is where it's at, and our arts blog has to keep up. This is why we poached celebrity journalists Camille Dodero and Zach Baron to chart zeitgeist eruptions wherever they may occur, from American Idol to Twitter to Nerd Nite to pr0n. They also do world-class interviews that get picked up by Rush Limbaugh. If you don't know what's going on culture-wise, read a few pages of Sound of the City and you'll be able to nod sagely at parties with real authority.

 

Fork in the Road. We eat out of Tupperware and paper bags, yet somehow Robert Sietsema, Sarah DiGregorio, and Chantal Martineau speak to us. (We mean their prose; no one here actually speaks to us. What if someone saw them?) We are told by people with palates that our food critics speak to them, too. They not only describe dishes and drinkables in ways that make you horny, they also read the labels, interview the mongers, and report the news from the gustatory scene.

 

La Daily Musto. As everyone knows, Michael Musto has ornamented the Voice since dish was something they gave away at movie theaters, so he doesn't really have to blog; he could just have his footman deliver us his weekly columns and spend the rest of the week at his mountain cabin, watching egrets nest. Yet blog he does, and puts in plenty of oomph. While the rest of us were doing quick, who's-this obits of Bea Arthur, this fucker was telling us things Bea Arthur said to him. He reports breaking scene news and, in his idle moments, asks delighted fans Socratic questions like "Who's Your Favorite Plus-Sized Male Movie Star?" It's his name management invokes when they tell us, "See, that's why we can't pay you more."

 

All City. Sometimes, you know? All you want to do is look at pictures of street art. With maybe a little copy to quiet the voices in your head. All City does that for you, and for all of us.