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New Jersey Wants to Raise Its Smoking Age to 21, Too

By John Surico
Democracy Now! Hosts Cooper Union Debate

By Sydney Brownstone
Quinn on Street Fatalities

By John Surico
Hurricane Sandy Hotel Evacuees Evade Housing Crisis

By Sydney Brownstone
Liu Gives Back Dirty Cash

By John Surico
What to Do if You Get Vito Lopez'd at Work

By Sydney Brownstone
City Dragged Stop-and-Frisk Judge Through the Mud

By Ryan Devereaux
The New Yorker Launches Project Developed by Aaron Swartz

By Sydney Brownstone
Union Square is Getting a Massive Wi-Fi Expansion in June

By Sydney Brownstone
We May Have a Weiner in the Mayoral Race by Next Week

By John Surico

Relax! Your Astrological Sign Has Not Changed. Probably.

By Jen Doll Fri., Jan. 14 2011 at 12:49 PM

Categories: Department of Corrections, Jen Doll, The Stars, Things We Are Seriously Invested In, WTF?, We Guess We're Happy

ZOMG! We were stressed about the latest life-changing astrological information, which actually is not "news" at all, but something people have known about for years! Still, we were stressed! Fortunately, CNN puts an end to our worries that our astrological sign might have changed with the very important news that it (probably) did not: "If [people] adhered to the tropical zodiac -- which, if they're a Westerner, they probably did -- absolutely nothing has changed for them." As they go on to explain,

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Snow News Day

Central Park Gets 9 Inches of Snow; There's Snow on the Ground in 49 of 50 States

By Jen Doll Wed., Jan. 12 2011 at 8:51 AM

Categories: Caffeine Nation, Jen Doll, Snow News Day, We Guess We're Happy, Weather

via @DevonGrandy/Twitpic

The snow count is in. We got 9.1 inches last night (according to numbers in Central Park, via NY1). That does not a blizzard make, but it's pretty, for the moment! No major public transport delays, though the MTA has issued a Winter Weather Service Advisory. In related news:

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Technology

Verizon iPhone Is FINALLY a Reality

By Jen Doll Tue., Jan. 11 2011 at 11:58 AM

Categories: Jen Doll, Technology, Telecommunications, We Guess We're Happy, iPhone

via Engadget

The long-awaited day has finally come. Verizon has announced they'll start selling the iPhone early next month. Preorders start February 3. The phone will cost you $199.99 with a 2-year contract. It's expected that as many as 13 million iPhones may be sold by Verizon in the first year. And -- it can act as a Wi-Fi hotspot too! AT&T is pissed. [Bloomberg Businessweek, Engadget]

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Employment

In 2011, We All May Have Jobs, Yet!

By Jen Doll Thu., Dec. 30 2010 at 9:39 AM

Categories: Business, Employment, Jen Doll, We Guess We're Happy

Cover from August 2009

According to the weekly report from the Labor Department, new jobless claims have fallen to the lowest level since July 2008, declining 34,000 for the week ending on Christmas Day. Apparently "seasonal layoffs" often pick up in that week, which seems particularly shitty, so we're glad this year they didn't. The Wall Street Journal reports that this decline "provides some basis for optimism" about the labor market in general -- maybe we'll finally beat back that 9.8% unemployment rate in 2011. Crossing our fingers for the new year. [JDoll]

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Brooklyn "Punch Me Panda" a Little Bit Sado, a Little Bit Masochist

By Jen Doll Fri., Nov. 19 2010 at 12:56 PM

Categories: Boxing, Jen Doll, Laugh So As Not to Cry, Ow, We Guess We're Happy

via WSJ/Rob Bennett

Have you seen a man in a panda costume getting punched and kicked in Brooklyn? Have you, perhaps, kicked and punched this very panda yourself? And did you enjoy it? The Wall Street Journal investigates. In other news, Friday often has the flavor of watermelon Jolly Ranchers.

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In the Streets

Greenpoint Woman Narrowly Escapes Being Devoured by Sidewalk

By Jen Doll Tue., Nov. 9 2010 at 2:25 PM

Categories: Accomplishments, Going Underground, In the Streets, Jen Doll, Very Important Issues, We Guess We're Happy

Photo by Stefano Giovannini, via the Brooklyn Paper

Philippa Kaye, a Greenpoint resident, faced a reality that is the stuff of nightmares (not ours, we're not that screwed up) this weekend as she innocently passed Flatbush and Fifth Avenues to view the New York City marathon. That's when she "encountered a hole in the sidewalk so massive it swallowed her whole," reports the Brooklyn Paper. As you can see from the photo at right.

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Averie Timm

NYC Marathon: Making You Feel Worthless, One Runner at a Time

By Averie Timm Fri., Nov. 5 2010 at 6:46 PM

Categories: Accomplishments, Averie Timm, I Really Do Heart NY, New York, New York, To-Do List, We Guess We're Happy

Every once in a while (okay, fine, probably more often than not, seeing as how we live in New York), a person comes along who, for whatever reason, makes us feel like a worthless piece of lazy crap. Like that chick who beat the shit out of the man who attempted to rob her last night in the East Village. Or, like Larry Lewis, the 53-year-old New Yorker who plans to run his 28th consecutive marathon on Sunday.

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Estrogen

Female Crash Test Dummies Are Here! Women Are...Psyched?

By Jen Doll Tue., Oct. 5 2010 at 6:04 PM

Categories: Estrogen, Jen Doll, Transportation, We Guess We're Happy, Women's Rights

Finally, after years of waiting and hoping and protesting for equal rights, equal pay, and equal, er, "death standards," women are getting their own female crash test dummies to be used in government safety tests, starting in 2011. Let us all celebrate this fine day that will surely go down in the history books as...the moment that we women finally, after all that nagging, got our own crash test dummies!

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