​Only one third of singles expect to get laid on Valentine's Day -- about the same number that Facebook stalk their exes, a new study reveals.

The survey of 515 self-identified singles, conducted by Facebook dating app Areyouinterested.com, finds that 33 percent plan on winding up in bed on what's marketed as the most commercialized romantic day of the year. (Gross.)

Apparently, singles are not deterred by blind dates -- 74 percent would totally meet up with a stranger "indicating singles are not intimidated by the romantic pressure the holiday typically brings."

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​The feds have spoken: marijuana has no legitimate medical use and will continue to be classified as a hard drug. This decision comes nine years after medical pot advocates asked the federal government to reclassify marijuana to reflect growing evidence that it has beneficial medical properties. DEA to medical weed advocates: "No way, hippies." On the other hand, this isn't all bad news for the medical marijuana folks, since now they can start appealing the decision. More >>

​Of all the nasty things that have probably happened on an NYC bus, this might be the worst. An MTA bus driver used his bus after hours to meet with an unidentified lady friend. The driver, Edward Meehan, had already received 14 suspensions for a variety of violations including speeding and running red lights, and last week he received his 15th suspension when the MTA caught him using his bus for the get-togethers while he was on the clock. At the end of his shift, Meehan, 45, was supposed to leave his bus at the depot in Staten Island, but in April, investigators say that he started making his late-night stops on a quiet Staten Island street where the unidentified female would meet him.

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​Ah, the Bronx Zoo cobra. Just when we thought last week's most popular snake had faded from our news consciousness, to be replaced by, say, a baby giraffe, or a tsunami dog, she is back. Because we can't let these things go, no, we have to name them. The Bronx Zoo, after all, hasn't gotten this much press in years. And so, there was a naming contest initiated with the Daily News. Now the News and the Zoo have identified the 5 semi-finalists among the 33,000 entries.

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via DNA Info

​There are those who complain that New York City has lost its edge, and then there are those who throw hissy fits over red drapes hanging in a window of an upcoming comedy club because it looks too "bordello"-y. No, this is not a story about Park Slope, where there are actual things to worry about, like kindergartners getting waitlisted! This is in one of the "edgiest" of Manhattan nabes, the gritty, take-no-prisoners, don't-fuck-with-us East Village.

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​So, Barbie and Ken are back together. On Valentine's Day. Perfect. Is anyone else a little bit suspicious about this joyous reunion? Anyone else wondering why now, after seven years, after a grueling and tear-filled breakup between the two blonde plastic lovers (who started dating way back in the madcap summer of '61), they would choose to reunite not only on today of all days, but ever? And why, after all that they've been through, the two would even consider merging their Facebook pages? Mistake! Mistake!

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​Hey, if you didn't fill out your census -- and it was easy, seriously -- now is when we all get to point our fingers at you and growl, or extract whatever means of punishment seems suitable (kick you out of New York?). The Census Bureau is set to announce this month that our state's Congressional delegation "will shrink to the smallest it has been in 200 years, continuing to erode the state's clout in Washington," per the New York Times.

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​Oh, Steven Slater. We were really rooting for you, way back when. We hoped you'd be different. But somewhere along the way (maybe while you were getting your picture taken with Barry Manilow, or when it was coming out that you quite possibly lied about the crazed passenger who got you so riled up in the first place), we lost faith. And faith is hard to get back. Especially when you do things like this.

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Okay, Jimmy McMillan, you're officially the people's hero of the day. You with your awesome quotes and black gloves and karate. But what you really deserve is a fantastic remix -- something worth your spunk and gumption, something that says "I'm you" so much better than Christine O'Donnell ever could. And while this, from someone known as "Uncle Troll," is a valiant effort from a non-pro, the poor quality and sophomoric repetition only serve to detract from the persona of Jimmy, himself -- cause he's really the star here. Or at the very least, "cool as hell." Autotune the News guys, this is a cry for help. Please, status update? ETA? [JDoll]