​Only one third of singles expect to get laid on Valentine's Day -- about the same number that Facebook stalk their exes, a new study reveals.

The survey of 515 self-identified singles, conducted by Facebook dating app Areyouinterested.com, finds that 33 percent plan on winding up in bed on what's marketed as the most commercialized romantic day of the year. (Gross.)

Apparently, singles are not deterred by blind dates -- 74 percent would totally meet up with a stranger "indicating singles are not intimidated by the romantic pressure the holiday typically brings."

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Rosie Gray

The sign outside John Adams High in Ozone Park.

​As we reported earlier, Mayor Bloomberg announced a mandatory evacuation of all low-lying areas in Zone A this afternoon in a press conference. All residents of Zone A, which includes Coney Island, parts of Staten Island, Battery Park City, parts of the Bronx, and the Rockaways (which are actually Zone B) are required to get packed and get out by 5 p.m. Saturday, before Hurricane Irene gets here. People have to either go to someone else's house or to a designated evacuation center after undergoing an "initial intake process" (the flawed "reception center" system we referred to earlier).

Once we heard the news, we got on a train to Queens to find out the extent to which residents would obey the mandate. We discovered a startling contrast in mood between an evacuation center in Ozone Park, which was supposed to accommodate refugees from the Rockaways, and the Rockaways themselves, where the general vibe was one of total indifference to the impending storm.

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Hiiiiiii!

​Hey, if you were thinking about going to the Reptile House at the Bronx Zoo today, think again! A venomous cobra escaped from its abode and is slithering around waiting to kill people. So the Reptile House is closed, sorry. More >>

He's back!

​The Telegraph has your pressing, timely Ice Age news covered this week. Not only could new woolly mammoths be cloned in four to five years, but new research shows that Neanderthals were not ugly because of the cold, but just because they were ugly.

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​Cathie Black is the new Joe Biden. A birth control joke by the novice Schools Chancellor at a parent-school official meeting, followed in quick succession by a Sophie's Choice allusion, have pissed people off royally. Oh come on! The first one's funny, at least.

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​Charlie Brown will have a few new friends to hang out with as he floats down Sixth Avenue this Thanksgiving. Macy's has announced the lineup for this year's parade, which will include performances by Kanye West, Jessica Simpson, and Gladys Knight, helium-filled versions of Po from Kung-Fu Panda and the Kool-Aid Man (huh?), and a new Dora the Explorer float.

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​The Gap changed their logo to an uglier logo, and everyone freaked out. Now, the very large clothing corporation that has endeared itself to the sheep who shop there and other people who don't consider the way they cheer for massive billion-dollar corporations who contribute to the status quo of the global economy (not to harsh anyone's party, or anything) by changing the logo back.

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