​Keen eyes will notice a link on the bottom of Gmail's welcome page, a link that opens a new world that will change your old one forever. It simply reads, "Coming soon: A new sign-in page!" If you elect to click "Preview It," you will essentially take the red pill and leave your old, ignorant body behind. After the jump, pictures of the old sign-in page compared to the new one. Use caution: Your precious worldview is in danger.

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​Dear April Fool's Day,

Listen. We hate to be the ones to say this...well, actually, we're perfectly happy to be the ones to say this, because we've been thinking it all damn day. You suck. For people who work on the Internet, you suck especially. But also, you suck for everyone. In the dark days at the end of time, when we're down to our last soy candle and recounting our favorite moments of human existence, no one will say, "Geez, you know what I'll really miss? April Fool's Day."

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Hahaha, whew! Jimmy McMillan, everyone. He of "Rent is 2 Damn High" fame made quite the splash at CPAC. "If you want to marry a shoe, I'll marry you." Okay, I want to marry a shoe. Kidding. I have no idea what that means.

[via Gothamist]

[rgray@villagevoice.com] [@_rosiegray]

Because it's Friday, and you're probably drinking (soon?) even if we're not...Here is a monkey being an adorable asshole. Don't try this at home. 'Cause we're pretty sure owning a capybara in New York City is illegal, no matter how awesome they are.

​Four men have been busted and charged in New York with the oldest, possibly worst trick in the postmodern book: Email-spamming people that they'd won the "$5 Million Princess Diana Lottery." Apparently some people were enticed, on the promise of Diana's supposed millions, to give up their bank account info and even wire money to the scammers, losing $2 million overall. We got hold of an example email (versions of which, apparently, have been circulating for years). Consider this your PSA.

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​City Council members' requirement to disclose their financial information doesn't mean we need to write about it when nothing is awry. Today, the Daily News published an article insinuating that by having outstanding credit card balances, Council members are somehow in the wrong, while providing no evidence to support that implication. And if a member's finances are screwy enough to uphold a claim that they are unfit for their city position, then the Daily News missed that story entirely.

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The other Number 9

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Number 9

​The Maxim Hot 100 List is out. Yeah, we've been waiting for this all year! Not only that, but the Good Surgeon's Guide to the Top 10 Worst Celebrity Faces came out last week. And since we are connoisseurs of both beauty and hideousness here at Runnin' Scared, we thought that we should undertake a thorough investigation of both lists -- a side-by-side compare/contrast -- to understand what is beautiful and what is not. Anything to explore the science of attraction, you know?

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​Today's lesson in semantics addresses the case of a young Australian student who called a police officer a "prick" during an episode of verbal fisticuffs at a Sydney railway station last year. (Hey, we've all been there, right?)

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​• Obama's in town today, speaking at Cooper Union at 11:55 a.m., where he will totally take Wall Street to task in front of an audience of 700 that includes Wall Street execs, consumer advocates, New York officials, and some very lucky Cooper Union students. While the New York Times poetically calls the Cooper Union area "the shadow of Wall Street," we'd like to point out that if anyone's casting shadows, it's Wall Street themselves.

Either way, getting around downtown will probably be a little more difficult. So... plan ahead!

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​Herewith, your talking points for this Friday...

• If you're trying to fly out of Europe, think again: "60 percent of European flights were not operating and delays will continue into Saturday," according to European traffic control agency Eurocontrol, which sounds like an early '90s electronica band, or maybe an over-the-counter drug that keeps you from soiling yourself on transcontinental flights. We can blame all this, except for the name, on Iceland's Eyjafjallajokull (ay-yah-FYAH'-plah-yer-kuh-duhl) glacier, which we would criticize for syllabic excesses but for fear of retaliation.

• End times watch: A cyclone kills 120 in India.

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