Cowbell And Dead Body With Pants Around Ankles Found at Queens Cemetery. Yeah...

Categories: WTF?
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www.gingerwilson.blogspot.com
And perhaps a belt...
The body of an Astoria man was found with his pants around his ankles at a Queens cemetery yesterday morning, which is bizarre. The fact that a cowbell was found near his partially nude body makes it really bizarre.

The deceased has since been identified as 42-year-old Robert Zaretz. Authorities say there was no sign of foul play, although his nose had been bleeding prior to his death.

Zaretz's body was found about 9 a.m. yesterday near a headstone at the Calvary Cemetery in Woodside by a mourner paying respects to a loved one. He was pronounced dead at the scene.

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Huffington Post Will Publish Your Undergrad Thesis and Probably Won't Pay You

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​Maybe the aggregation turbine is broken?

Looks like HuffPo, the "internet newspaper," might soon become a term paper mill.

Huffington Post College tweeted late last night: "Want to publish your senior thesis on the Huffington Post? Email rharrington [at] huffingtonpost [dot] com for more details."

(H/T @mylestanzer, a former Voice intern who sometimes contributes to RS).

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Behold, the Martin "Loofah" King Exfoliating Glove!

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"I have a clean...and so can you, for just $6.92!"
​Have you been searching high and low for that "fantastic novelty house warming gift," as Amazon.com puts it? Have you been dreaming of a way to make it so that your "skin appears always fresh," while scrubbing your ass with the face of the man who dreamed his children would not be "judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character"?

Then perhaps the Martin Loofah King exfoliating glove is for you!!!!!

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A Construction Sign the MTA Would Never Intentionally Use

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​It's obvious that the wording of this sign, on a construction site in the Atlantic/Pacific subway stop, was not actually put up by the MTA. They would never be quite so direct, concise and efficient in their messaging. We'll start counting today how long it lasts.

sthrasher@villagevoice.com | @steven_thrasher

Amber Marie Collins, a/k/a Miss New York USA: Is She for Real?

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via

Meet Amber Marie Collins. The 26-year-old is a graduate of NYU, she's a pre-school teacher, and she is New York's representative in the Miss USA pageant, which concludes tonight. She is also working it.

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Our Favorite #@&*%ing Swear Words

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A Brooklyn writer took to the New York Times today to bitch about people who "curse" too much. The worst offenders, he says, are "20-somethings whose informal language consists of a liberal use of profanity blended into their OMG-juvenile act."

"Is there a cure for this rampant vulgarity?" he asks.

We say... "No." But to investigate this sociolinguistic WTF, we culled a list of our own favorite vulgarities (from a staff of, well, 20-somethings) to celebrate the great art of swearing. Our defense of F-bombs and other profanities, after the jump.

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Mystery Piano Appears on Florida Sandbar

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​Oh, remember this summer, when it wasn't snowing, when pianos filled the streets, when the well in the Gulf of Mexico was leaking unabated for months? We got a little flashback just now. Because suddenly there's a baby grand piano just sitting on a sandbar in Miami's Biscayne Bay. Via CNN, "We don't know how the piano got out there, we don't know who's responsible for putting the piano out there and at this point it's clearly a mystery," said Jorge Pino of the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission.

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Encyclopedia Dramatica is Gone: What Happened? (UPDATE)

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​Encyclopedia Dramatica, the Wikipedia-esque site associated with Internet pranksters Anonymous, seems to be gone. The Twitter and Facebook pages of E.D. suggest that it's over for good. Where did it go? And why is it gone?

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Fancy Upper West Side Building Hires Its Own Creative Director

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​Ever felt that the seafoam green interior and moldy moldings of your Lower East Side walkup just don't "go" with the authentic door paint or vintage-scented elevator or occasional atmospheric shrieks and scufflings? Ah, if we lived at the Upper West Side's historic condo The Apthorp (residents have included Nora Ephron, Al Pacino, Cyndi Lauper, and Conan), things might be a little more aesthetically pleasing, or at least, for goodness sake, cohesive.

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Man Slapped for Farting at Party Stabs Friends

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​We're going to keep this short, but it deserves a mention, because, well...just read. The New York Post reports that a 21-year-old man in Connecticut went to a party on Saturday where he, it seems, "was farting throughout the evening." A woman at the party had had enough and slapped him. The alleged farter, named Marc Higgins, became so angry/humiliated/what the fuck was wrong with him? (it's just gas!) that he went and got "a butcher knife, another knife, and a BB gun," then stabbed one friend fatally, injuring three others. WTF. W.T.F.!? Don't do this. Please. Everybody farts. If it happens at a party, politely excuse yourself, or simply blame it on someone else. That's First Grade 101, dude.

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