Scientists Blame Quantum Physics for Smell

"What's that smell?" is a question that has plagued mankind for thousands of years, but have you ever stopped to ask, "Why does that smell?" The BBC reports scientists at the American Physical Society meeting in Dallas are trying to figure out the reasons why and how things smell, and they may have found the answer: quantum physics. You're still allowed to blame that odor on the cat, just as long as it's Schrödinger's cat.

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Charlie Sheen Not Really @CharlieSheen

‚ÄčSorry to tell you this, but you've been lied to. The man behind such gems as "this just in.... another cosmic fastball from theMind of your fav Warlock; Earn Yourself. #EarnYourself" is not actually actor, winner and drug addict Charlie Sheen; it's someone he's hired to be his "Tweet Master." Kind of disappointing but when you think about it...duh. (Has that gotten old yet?)

The dude is one Bob Maron, who tweets from the Charlie Sheen account after Sheen tells him what to say. Why not just cut out the middleman, Charlie? And does the Guinness World Record go to Sheen or Maron?

[via Radar Online]


Vatican Declares Homer Simpson a "True Catholic"

No, this is not the Onion. Apparently, the Pope isn't relatable enough these days. Instead, if you're seeking a Catholic role model, you should look to a beer-guzzling, doughnut-pounding, Ned-Flanders-torturing "everyman." Yes. L'Osservatore Romano, the Vatican's newspaper, has published an article titled "Homer and Bart Are Catholics." Because Catholics are...everywhere?

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Toasted Leg Syndrome Leaves Humans in Tailspin Over Where to Put Their Laptops

What not to do.
Just when you thought Restless Leg Syndrome was the most horrifying and preeminent leg syndrome that you might possibly be afflicted by or fancy yourself hypochondriacally afflicted by, there's another, more likely (and, oddly, sort of delicious-sounding) leg syndrome! And that is, "Toasted Leg Syndrome." Sound scary? That's 'cause it is.

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Man Invents Dog-Poop-Powered Lantern, Because Someone Had To

Every now and again, a story appears that is just, in a word, a gem. A little nugget of beauty. A thing that makes the writerly heart sing. Today, we find that story in dog poop. Jay Lindsay, AP writer, hones in on an angle right off the bat -- dog poop has a bright side! And it only gets better from there.

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Science: Saying "Fuck" Makes You Feel Better...Unless You Work at the New York Times

comic book swearing.jpg
Today the New York Times Freakonomics blog points out that dropping the f-bomb, among other choice delicacies, has an upside: It's good for you! There's a new study out from Bellevue that finds that "swearing can also be used as a psychological tool in the service of helping." In fact, it may even "provide a channel of catharsis for aggressive drives."

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Tuesdays With Snooki: GTL Also Includes Side Trips to Barnes & Nobles, Guys!

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via BuzzFeed
Snooki and the gang of Jersey Shore-ists would like you to know that you are hopelessly misinformed as to their true nature, despite you watching them regularly on that "reality TV" show. Gah. On real, live talk show Ellen DeGeneres today, they expressed the existential dilemma of being themselves, and other Yoda-like nuggets.

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New York State Gives Voting Booths the Boot

Primary elections are today, and one thing is notably absent in New York: voting booths. Instead, voters will use SAT-style bubble forms to select candidates. This way, computers will count the votes, and, unlike the old curtain and lever booths, this system will leave a paper trail if a recount is necessary. It's merely a shift in methodology, but with all such changes, dissenters will likely act as if it's a slight to our democracy.

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Donald Trump Offers $6 Million Cash for Site of Mosque Near Ground Zero, Gets Shut Down

Runnin' Scared theme of the day: ridiculous religious intolerance. Providing an "exit strategy" for Islamic Center investors, New York's most famous billionaire offered Hisham Elzanaty 25 percent more than what he paid for the site of the proposed mosque near Ground Zero, making the $6 million offer not because he is sold on the location but because it would end "a very serious, inflammatory, and highly divisive situation," according to a letter released by Trump's publicist and reported by the AP.

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Jersey Shore's Snooki Found Guilty of "Annoying Others"

Sometimes the headlines just write themselves. Spoiler: The Jersey Shore's embattled Snooki was found guilty of "annoying others on the beach with her antics," which included, apparently, using a beer bong, falling off a bike, and being entirely too tan (that's just our opinion).

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