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The White Rapper Show: The Best Thing on TV

Posted by Tom Breihan at 5:57 PM, January 23, 2007

johnbrown.jpg
Oh my god, they all have MySpace pages

There's been a lot of really good stuff on TV lately: 24, 30 Rock, Big Day, Rome, the new cruelty-enhanced season of American Idol. People are finally fighting on Heroes. This season's Real World cast is pretty much completely insane. Lost is coming back soon. A whole lot of people I sort of know from Baltimore are on Ace of Cakes now, which is really weird and exhilarating to see. I like all those shows, but there's only one show on right now that makes me do the thing where I look at the clock on the side of the TV and get all panicked when the show is about to end, and that's The White Rapper Show. I didn't really see this coming. I expected to like the show, especially since the ego trip people were involved, but the show always seemed like a cheap-but-entertaining joke, an excuse to throw a bunch of human cartoons on TV so we could all point at them and laugh. Almost despite itself, though, The White Rapper Show has somehow become the most engrossing thing on TV. It's only three episodes in, and I'm already wondering if VH1 will bring it back for another season.

After the first episode, it looked like the show was going to be a shrill freakshow, a parade of deluded attention-seekers with no idea of how ridiculous they all looked. I can't imagine too many people think they'll ever manage to use a jokey reality show to launch an actual rap career, so all the show's contestants looked like clueless chumps. But over the last couple of episodes, most of the characters have evolved into actual people. There was a moment last night when Sullee, my favorite guy on the show, bitched that the show started out as a straight-up MC contest but that it'd turned into a demeaning joke. Sullee was mostly just mad that he had to do laundry for some of the other cast-members. The show was always a demeaning joke, and I think Sullee probably knew that from the day he walked into casting and saw the parade of goofs with whom he'd be sharing screen-time. The really great thing about the show is that all the contestants seem to realize that it's all a big joke but that they all still really want to succeed. And because the show's producers keep sticking the contestants in excruciatingly embarrassing situations, we end up developing sympathy for them anyway. The show's most outwardly ridiculous contestant is the constant self-promoter John Brown, who's always spouting nonsense catchphrases, saying that he's the king of the burbs and that he's launching a ghetto revival, whatever that means. (And those catchphrases actually seem to be catching on; I heard at least ten different people at last week's Sean Price show say "king of the burbs" or "ghetto revival.") This week, Brand Nubian's Lord Jamar got all pissy at Brown about the ghetto revival thing, and all Brown could do was plaintively mumble "Hallelujah holla back" a bunch of times. He really seemed hurt, and I actually felt sorry for him.

As the show goes on, most of the really irritating contestants are being weeded out early. By now, most of the people on the show can actually sort of rap, and not too many of them are outright repulsive. (I really hope Jus Rhyme, the earnest political guy, is the next to go; he bugs the shit out of me.) It's hard to watch people endure all these indignities without getting to like them at least a little bit. The embarrassing setups are mostly genuinely funny, and the show is jammed full of rap-nerd touchstones (Grandmaster Caz! Serch getting to talk shit about Vanilla Ice again! Just Blaze next week!). But the real appeal is in watching a group of people, some of whom are actually talented, surviving all the trials that the ego trip people can think to throw at them.

I can't help but to continually compare the show to I'm From Rolling Stone, which is still pretty entertaining but which makes the mistake of treating its contestants' trials with total seriousness. The people on I'm From Rolling Stone don't really face any massive struggles besides having to do rewrites, and so they come across as being bitchy and self-obsessed. As Tad Friend pointed out in his New Yorker piece, those contestants don't really seem to give two shits whether they'll win the contest or not; they're competing for TV time, not writing jobs. All the people on The White Rapper Show actually want to be taken seriously on some level. They don't stand a chance, but they're still trying anyway, and there's something heroic about that.

comments

Mannn...I already said all this stuff! Sort of- but really, I did. Last night's episode was incredible and was definetley a step-up from last week's particularly trashy episode. I was glad that show made Jamar look like an asshole even if John Brown's 'ghetto revival' stuff is retarded.

Posted by: brandonsoderberg at January 24, 2007 1:23 AM

What's with all the a cappella battles? I'm ready to hear some beats on the show.

Posted by: dirty dish cloth at January 24, 2007 10:51 AM

The fact that the RS competitors are blatantly in it for the tv time more so than any potential writing gig seems to be an indictment of Rolling Stone ca. 2007. Rolling Stone has been irrelevant to me for so long that I've lost track of how I should feel about it. The part of me that wants to write for them is the same part that wanted to carry a bow and arrow and ride ti school on a triceratops when I was six, you know? "I want to be seen on tv pretending that I work for Rolling Stone." Yeesh! I don't know whether or not I should laugh or be sad about that. After all, it's not really a problem when you watch the Real World and the seem to be angling for a spot in the next RR/RW Challenge/Duel/Inferno/Cage Match/Grudgefest. They're actually being "careerist" in some strange, vaguely endearing way.

And I know this post wasn't about the Real World, but I couldn't let your passing mention go by without noting how that whole universe has turned in on itself. Nothing demonstrates that more than seeing some drunk bastard trying to get a giant martial arts master to hit him and get kicked off the show. Nothing except for two people copping to having drinking problems in back-to-back shows and then getting right back after it the next week.

Posted by: ondioline at January 24, 2007 11:09 AM

Good point ondioline,
I was just talking to someone about Real World, thinking about past seasons, particularly Pre-Vegas, but maybe, Pre-New York (Season 10). Or, when the nutty, "slutty" girls were like Cara from Chicago instead of bar sluts, it used to be a *little* more realistic...also, the show is too big for somewhere like Denver, so a lot of the people that hang around the Real World-ers are there just to be on tv.
Also, think of how much more "real" looking cast members once were, when like Rachel from San Francisco was the hot chick of the show? It's one thing that Tom mentioned in his origial White Rapper Show entry: the WRS cast is pretty ugly (or maybe just normal looking?) and that's a good thing.

Posted by: brandonsoderberg at January 24, 2007 12:14 PM

Am I the only one who thinks Sullee is the biggest d-bag on this show? (figures Breihan would actually like him) John Brown's psychobabble is infinitely less annoying then Sullee's bitching. The King of he Burbs's Mac Dre shirt also feels more authentic then the Sedgwick & Cedar shirt Sullee keeps sporting (you know he bought it the day before the show). I still cant get over how most of them guys couldnt recognize "Shook Ones". The one youngish guy who never talks said "Digital Underground." Hilarious.

Posted by: duncan pinderhughes at January 24, 2007 12:53 PM

Am I the only one who thinks Sullee is the biggest d-bag on this show? (figures Breihan would actually like him) John Brown's psychobabble is infinitely less annoying then Sullee's bitching. The King of he Burbs's Mac Dre shirt also feels more authentic then the Sedgwick & Cedar shirt Sullee keeps sporting (you know he bought it the day before the show). I still cant get over how most of them guys couldnt recognize "Shook Ones". The one youngish guy who never talks said "Digital Underground." Hilarious.

Posted by: duncan pinderhughes at January 24, 2007 12:53 PM

Sullee actually has emotions so he goes nuts but he really seems to give a shit, which is nice even if he's overboard and totally Boston-ed out. Even so, he'd be more of a jerk-off than a douchebag, while Jus Rhyme aka "youngish guy who never talks" is certainly the douchebag of the show.

Posted by: brandonsoderberg at January 24, 2007 12:59 PM

Lord Jamar definitely looked like a dick. It's almost as if he forgot that HE CAN"T RAP.

Posted by: ReverendDrGladhands at January 24, 2007 1:05 PM

No, homey, Jus Rhyme is not the youngish guy who never talks I was referring to. He seems to talk a lot and I agree it can be dumb (I was with him when he put Persia in her place, tho). I was referring to another, more young appearing dude who guessed that "Shook Ones" was Digital Underground... Sullee's blowup on John Brown during the dildo scene was the most cringe inducing moment of the show... Whats up with the Lord Jamar bashing? Jamar more than held his own in the absence of Grand Puba on In God We Trust. "So step the fuck off, before I punch you in your face... with the mothafuckin bass. Then youre gonna taste blood in your mouth, its gonna flood south..." The unedited version of that verse was a little weird but the radio edit was my shit back in 8th grizzy. Y'all are talking like a grizzled, 40-ish OG Five Percenter like Jamar should have pat John Brown's babble on the back. He didn't even mock John a much as the commercials suggested.

Posted by: duncan pinderhughes at January 24, 2007 1:27 PM

Oh...my bad. I totally forgot about Jon Boy, was that who it was? Yeah, he doesn't talk, I forgot he even existed. Jus Rhyme is still douchebag in my book though.

Jamar definetley scares the shit out of John Brown and it just makes Jamar look foolish because Brown is such an easy target. Jamar came in with an attitude, whether he's "allowed" to or not, it makes me wonder why he even agreed to be on the show.

Posted by: brandonsoderberg at January 24, 2007 5:32 PM

Jamar really came off as a bitter old man. For the record, I agree that Jus Rhyme is the most annoying character on the show. Part of me believes that all of the contestants are actors. It's really hard to believe that G-Child was a real person.

Posted by: ReverendDrGladhands at January 24, 2007 6:03 PM

Dude, it depends on where you're from. If you're near any kind of "redneck" or "white-trash" areas, G-Child is so fucking real. I went to high school with G-Childs, I eat at a Wendy's where G-Childs work. I'll just be a total faggot and pull this move...I wrote about her sort in-depth here: http://brandonsoderberg.blogspot.com/2007/01/you-should-maybe-watch-ego-trips-white.html

Posted by: brandonsoderberg at January 24, 2007 6:27 PM

From the WRS myspace page:
Words from the man himself... John Brown.
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=131811715&blogID=213077445&MyToken=674bdc6f-5e75-4efd-bd62-6cedd9bcd33d

Posted by: islenyo at January 25, 2007 4:04 AM

This is a hilarious spectacle. Serch is just as guilty of sublimating earnestness with authenticity as the rest of these saps. Watch for my John Brown interview on SmokingSection.net.

Out-scooping these chumps.

-DrewBreez aka blog.myspace.com/biggestthingsince

Posted by: phallicgreatness at January 26, 2007 4:01 PM

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