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Avril Lavigne Needs Help

Posted by Tom Breihan at 5:55 PM, June 25, 2007

avril.jpg
So much for her happy ending

Meg, my little sister, is 18. She just graduated high school. She doesn't buy music. She doesn't really download it either. She's only ever been to one live show: Sleater-Kinney, when my brother took her to see them a few years ago. She does, however, spend a whole lot of time listening to Hot 99.5, which is basically DC's equivalent to Z100. (Admittedly, when I'm home, I spend a whole lot of time listening to Hot 99.5 too.) A month or so ago, I was talking to her on the phone, and she asked me what I thought of "all these people from the 90s trying to make comebacks." I asked her who she meant. "You know, like Avril." I thought this was awesome.

Avril Lavigne is not actually from the 90s; her first album came out in 2002, and "Complicated," her world-conquering single, might've marked the first moment where I contemplated the possibility that I was getting too old to understand pop music anymore. It took a couple of years for Avril to record a song I actually liked: "My Happy Ending," which is pretty transcendent as far as petulant power-ballad tantrums go. After "My Happy Ending," she was absent from the pop landscape for a minute, presumably because she was busy marrying the dickbag from Sum 41, but then she resurfaced late last year with "Keep Holding On," a pretty good overblown inspirational closing-credits soundtrack-song. I was sort of into the idea of Avril gradually maturing into an adult-contempo ballad-monster; her voice has a nicely vulnerable melting-ice quality when she drops the sneer. But then "Girlfriend" happened. And now it totally makes sense that my sister would confuse Avril with a 90s star trying to make a comeback. Avril is only 22, but she seems way, way too old to be attempting bratty cheerleader-pop. On that song, she seems older than the 36-year-old Gwen Stefani did on "Hollaback Girl" or the 39-year-old Toni Basil did on "Mickey." Her mallrat whine is so theatrically over-the-top that it ends up sounding blatantly false, like Amy Poehler's "cool mom" in Mean Girls or something. "Girlfriend" might well by my least favorite single of the year, so it comes as something of a surprise that I like the remix, where Avril's at least smart enough to let an actual teenager hijack the thing.

Lil Mama is 17, younger than my sister. She's already responsible for "Lip Gloss," one of 2007's most disarming kiddie-rap singles (and there have been a lot of kiddie-rap singles in 2007). Before I interviewed her for this story, I sort of expected that she'd turn out to be a clueless kid being forced into show-business, a victim of relentless stage-parents. From what I could tell, though, she's got more of a career-plan in place than most rappers ten years her senior. (During that interview, she also became the first rapper ever to offer me half of her sandwich. I took it. It was pretty good.) I like Lil Mama; she's got a hard, precise delivery and a whole lot of personality. She hasn't yet developed as a rapper to the point where she can project more than general sassiness, but that actually makes her perfect for "Girlfriend," a song that has nothing working for it beyond sass. And I like how Mama's remix pretty much erases the entire song and then rebuilds it around Mama. The unbelievably irritating chorus stays, and Mama unfortunately adds an incessant "Lil Mama and Avril Lavigne" chant that only serves to make it more irritating. But other than that, the only remaining element is the original song's one saving grace: the big stomping Gary Glitter drums. Mama raps circles around those drums without actually saying anything at all. She talks about chasing paper and hilariously sort-of-compares herself to Biggie and Pee Wee Kirkland, completely ignoring the theme of the song. And she spits a whole lot more than the remix-regulation sixteen bars. The remix and the video are both pretty obviously showcases for her: Avril doesn't do a whole lot more than mug in the background, which is exactly as it should be. She should really just let Lil Mama do everything for her until further notice.

Voice review: Laura Sinagra on Avril Lavigne's Under My Skin

comments

"(During that interview, [Lil Mama] also became the first rapper ever to offer me half of her sandwich. I took it. It was pretty good.)"

THIS IS SO GREAT!

Posted by: brandonsoderberg at June 26, 2007 12:44 AM

Boy oh boy. So much to say on this topic, but I'll just go with this. I like Avril. Liked her in 2002 and still like her in 2007. [Bought two albums the week her's came out. The Best Damn Thing and Year Zero. I go back to TBDT more often than I do Year Zero] I like Girlfriend. I like the video for Girlfriend. I like Lil Mama. I like her remix of Avril's Girlfriend. I don't, however, like the video for the remix of Girlfriend. I don't know why. I just don't. Maybe I need more time.

Posted by: Tauwan at June 26, 2007 2:23 AM

I find Avril so sickeningly unattractive I can't get my mind around her being good enough to be anyone's girlfriend. She ought to lock herself up in a nunnery and do emo renditions of Latin hymns. Maybe with some luck it'd be a craze, like Gregorian chant. Anyway, about your basketball post, it's clear you don't really get basketball. The Spurs are a great team with brilliant execution and defense; the squads you like are basically supercharged And1 clubs. That's why they all lost. If the Warriors/Suns/Nuggets brand of basketball is what you like, just watch the All-Star game. As for the suspension, the league isn't claiming that Stoudemire and Diaw actually did anything wrong, but they did violate a rule, and if they stopped suspending players for leaving the bench during fights, the next thing that would happen is that everyone would leave the bench during altercations because there would be no punishment for doing so, and the altercations would inevitably escalate into brawls, players could get injured, etc. Saying that they shouldn't have been suspended is like saying you shouldn't be ticketed for speeding as long as no one gets hurt - the rule is there to discourage people from speeding, which thereby lowers the rate of accidents. If you stop enforcing the rule, more people speed and people do get hurt.

Posted by: tray at June 28, 2007 12:41 AM

Somebody actually bought Year Zero? Ha ha!

Posted by: Jason Toon at June 28, 2007 11:45 AM

Excuse me?! I thing YOU need help! Avril is awesome! & she doesn't look old!I LOVE "girlfriend"! I love the remix even MORE! yah...your the one that needs help

Posted by: flora at July 3, 2007 12:10 PM

Excuse me?! I thing YOU need help! Avril is awesome! & she doesn't look old!I LOVE "girlfriend"! I love the remix even MORE! yah...you're the one that needs help

Posted by: flora at July 3, 2007 12:11 PM

Excuse me?! I thing YOU need help! Avril is awesome! & she doesn't look old!I LOVE "girlfriend"! I love the remix even MORE! yah...you're the one that needs help

Posted by: flora at July 3, 2007 12:22 PM

ok. wow so i agree with uh flora? here. avril IS the best damn thing n if u dont think so i think u should just go kill yourself right now. i

Posted by: kystew at October 22, 2008 8:25 PM

:)

Posted by: Anonymous at November 7, 2008 10:13 AM

Erm Avril ROCKS and if u dont like it its ur opinion keep it to ur self who cares internet if for fun not to talk about people who aggres?

Posted by: ellie at November 9, 2008 9:18 AM

Erm Avril ROCKS and if u dont like it its ur opinion keep it to ur self who cares internet if for fun not to talk about people who aggres?

Posted by: ellie at November 9, 2008 9:18 AM

this is so true. Avril was good in her first two albums but the latest has just gone down hill. its too pink and blonde. if i hadnt seen her before shed gone blond, i would have thought that was her natural colour cus she sounds thick, especialy in "Girlfriend" she was so much more down to earth before she married that dickhead. she needs to write more emotionaly involved songs like "take me away" and "my happy ending"

shes lost her intersting appeal. shes just like the other blonde bimbos out there now.

i bet she Googles herself.

Posted by: Jimmy at January 20, 2009 8:42 PM

avril lavigne does NOT need help. ur obviously the one that needs help. she is an amazing singer/ song writer/ guitarist/ pianist/ drumer... well u see where im going this. she can do a lot of things that shes really good. she has a lot of talent and always knows how to show it and keep it real.

Posted by: Emily at January 21, 2009 11:41 PM

umm ok ive seen comments like "i liked her with brown her NATURAL hair color" "if i didnt know her from before i would think blonde was her real hair color" umm blonde is her REAL hair color yes she was born with it went brown and came back to blonde so stfu and she not trying to make a "come back" after she released her 2nd ablum she started working on her 3rd soo

PS: get a life u have no skill if ur hobby or job if u sit at home on ur fat ass writing stuff about ppl that have done nothing to u. u wish u were like her

Posted by: Anonymous at August 5, 2009 5:33 PM

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