What Makes the American Music Awards Special: A Photo Essay

Kicky graphics. The title says 2006, but Eye could've sworn it's 1985.

There is time for a Lionel Richie performance. He is introduced by his daughter Nicole "that is not definition painted in" Richie.

There is also time for a Jamie Foxx piano solo.

Paris Hilton let the makeup artist have the night off.

Babyface couldn't be bothered to remove his sunglasses.

Sharon Stone is called in for the obligatory nipple shot, instead of J. Lo or Gwyneth.

Ashlee, her nose, and some dude who's name Eye already forgot, announce the winner of . . .

. . .the T-Mobile Text-In Award.

Carmen Electra introduces . . .

. . .David Guest.

Usual award-show whores the Black-Eyed Peas cannot make it in for the AMAs and accept their two awards from their hotel room in Costa Rica.

The Chili Peppers accept theirs in London. They time their 30-second acceptance speech.